I have been so negligent of this blog. There are several reasons why, one being that I have been super busy with my non-profit and the other, I have been in an emotional funk for a few months.
There have been some pretty amazing things that happened in 2018:
- I started a non-profit, Defense Against Diabetes, Facebook,
- Working full time & maintaining a 4.0 GPA in grad school,
- My oldest child graduated from high school & started college,
- My daughter had her sweet 16,
- I ran my first 1/2 marathon,
- I bought a new car,
- Had a successful first fundraiser, and
- I formed some new friendships within the community as a result of my non-profit.
Yet, I still often feel/felt unfulfilled, inept, and not good enough.
As the year was drawing near a close, I started doing some soul-searching because I did not want to continue being bogged down with negative energy (most of which was self-inflicted) in the new year. I am still on this journey of discovering where some of my deep-seated fears and anxiety stem from so that I can find a way to resolve those issues and continue on my journey of being the best me I can be.
I recently listened to “Girl, Wash Your Face” via Audible (because who has time to sit and actually READ a book?). I really enjoyed the book and will actually purchase it because it made me think about some things that I have unresolved in my life that are the basis for why I push myself as hard as I do. I totally related to the author on several fronts.
I am considering eliciting the help of a therapist as well as a life coach to help sort through the things I am aware of but have avoided dealing with, but also to discover the things that I never considered that have influenced me. While the thought of this all is scary, I know that I have to do it, if I am ever going to be truly happy. No one else has the power to make me happy, that is a decision I have to make on my own. I have to learn more about me and figure out what makes me happy.
Cheers to the new year and the new me!