Embracing 41

I celebrated my 41st birthday on Tuesday! I originally did not have any plans except to meet with my client. Other than that, I planned to be a bum all day. My client and her husband surprised me with a mini birthday cake (trimmed in my favorite color – purple) and a bag of my favorite candy, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! They even sang to me. I was completely shocked and overwhelmed with emotion.

I had church choir practice that evening, which I originally planned to skip. However, I am glad I went. I got another rendition of happy birthday sang to me. As much as they get on my nerves at times, I love them! Afterwards, I went to dinner with two of my fellow choir members and the other part of my trio. I decided to try a new restaurant and surprisingly had a great experience (I typically have horrible experiences whenever I eat out). I even got a birthday shot from the bartender.

To continue the celebration, I went to a B2K concert in St. Louis. It was quite the experience. LOL. I am working on getting out of my comfort zone.

I met with my therapist today and in addition to working on decreasing my anxiety when I’m driving at night and over bridges (I had a major panic attack a couple of weeks ago and they are happening more frequently), I am to work on journaling/blogging at least twice a week and to focus on postive things (versus the negative all the time). This will be a challenge for me as both my therapist and life coach have noticed how even if I say something postive about myself, I turn back around and follow it up with a negative. I have to learn to quit fixating on the negative and recognize the positive things about me and in my life.

I looked up what the number 41 signifies. I came across a couple of things.

  1. Biblically, it signifies separation. Which I find interesting because I was unaware of that until today, but I have been working on intentionally separating myself fron certain people, things, habits, thought processes, etc.
  2. According to a numerology website, it means conscientious, a sense of personal freedom, and working on securing a foundation for the future. I have been re-evaluating my life and trying to figure out how to make my non-profit profitable and sustainable. I have also been working on improving my finances so that my future is more secure for myself and my children.

I’m excited to see what chapter 41 has in store for me! Happy birthday to me!

Mid-March Update

March has been a very unusual month for me and we are only halfway through it.

I have only worked ONE day since February 17th. One week was for a scheduled staycation. The remainder of time has been due to what started as a lower back injury due to rearranging my house, which later changed to sacroiliac joint (i.e. hip) pain. Due to the nature of my work (a bedside nurse), I have been restricted from working. Thankfully, I will get a needed injection next week and will hopefully be able to return to work without restrictions. I sure miss my coworkers and the patients that I have the privilege to care for.

In the meantime, I have been keeping myself busy with ways to make my nonprofit successful. I have a few (more) potential partnerships in the works. I had lunch with a wonderful member of the community who understands the trials of having a small non-profit organization and was given some tips on ways to raise funds. I have been preparing for a college health fair next week where we will have a booth to provide information about our programs. I was interviewed by a journalism student to discuss the work that I do with my nonprofit. I am excited that the name of the organization is starting to be mentioned in our community a little more. We are working hard on brand awareness.

I have also started classes in my new degree program, public health. I am enjoying the content of the class thus far, although I despise having a group project.

I have continued working with my life coach. I think I have cried at least once in each of the sessions. After a couple of very stressful situations trying to find a therapist, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist today. It wasn’t too heavy since it was more focused on what I want to gain from my therapy sessions. I have my first “real” session next week, so I will definitely share my thoughts afterwards. I have continued working on one of my bad habits/obsessions and happy that I am slowly making progress.

I have enjoyed the amount of time that I have been able to spend with my 9 year old son. I have missed our mother-son dates. He may be getting tired of seeing me every day, but I am loving it. I feel comfortable with some of the changes that I have made because I know that I am providing a better life for the both of us. I still have a lot of work to do and progress to make, but I am going to enjoy each and every day and quit taking things for granted.

Movie date with my son